K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
