if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize