I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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