He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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