idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
