East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize