do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
