my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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