I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
