Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
