I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
