shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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