the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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