i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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