I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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