whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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