so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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