I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
