I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
