She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
