Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
