I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
