Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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