if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
