she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize