Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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