i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
