its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
