drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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