Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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