You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
