i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
