My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
