i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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