Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize