i'm signing you up for texting rehab
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
