I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize