Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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