Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
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we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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