Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you made out with another girl for some wings
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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