what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize