I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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