what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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