Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
