I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
