i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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