My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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