He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize