My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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