i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
