Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
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Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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