we made out on top of his cat.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
