the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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