You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
