Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
