Small penises have feelings too.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
